Method A: The logical, practical method
+-----------+ .-----------------------------------------------------------. | Dr. | | | Blatant | < Great! Let's talk about Method A. | Nonsense | | +-----------+ '-----------------------------------------------------------| +-----------+ .-----------------------------------------------------------. | Dr. | | Since it's so practical, | Blatant | < I'll distill each step into your everyday life. | Nonsense | | Let's get started! +-----------+ '-----------------------------------------------------------|
A normal school day.
*Scroll down to continue
Step 1: Practice Running
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/\ Dr: Many of us walk to school.
/ \ Home
/ __ \
| __ | > Dr: The road you have to take anyway
> is the perfect place to practice running
>
> o
> /|\
> / \ student
>
>
> Dr: Set a fixed time for your walk-to-school routine...
>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> >>>>>>
<----- <----- --------------------
<----- <----- | |
<----- <----- | |
<----- <----- | |
<----- <----- | field |
<----- <----- | |
>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>> | |
>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> --------------------
>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>
<---- <---- <---- <----
<---- <---- <---- <----
<---- <---- <----
>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>>>
>>>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>> >>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>>
>> >>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>
> >>>>>>>>>>>> >> >>>
>>>>>>> >>>> >>
Dr: This not only guarantees you won't be late... >>>>>> >>>> pond >>
>>>>> >>> >>>
>>>> >> >>>
>>>> >>> >>>
>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
Dr: It also lays the groundwork for our goal-- >>
Getting 8 hours of sleep in 3 hours! >
>
____ ____
school /____\ /____\
/ \--------school gate---------/ \
/ gates \ / gates \
/ \ / \
/___________ \ / __________ \
···················································· ···················································· ======================= OUTER LANE ========================== ====== / \ / \ Dr: Some of you might ask: / /============= LANE 2 =============== =============== LANE 1 = \ \ What if I don't walk to school? / / / \ \ | | ___________ ___________ | | | | / \ / \ | | Dr: No problem-- | | / \ / \ | | use morning runs at school to practice! | | / grass \ / grass \ | | | | | field | | field | | | | | \ / \ / | | Dr: Not only will the teacher praise you, \ \ \_____________/ \_____________/ / / It also help you to pursue your goal! \ \ / / \ \ / / \ '---------------------------------------------------------------' / \'---------------------------------------------------------------------'
+-----------+ .-------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Dr. | |
| Blatant | < Oh, someone asks: "How to regulate your breathing while running"
| Nonsense | |
+-----------+ '-------------------------------------------------------------------|
+-----------+ .-------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Dr. | | Don't worry!
| Blatant | < My colleague Alice has a little tip: How to breathe just for you!
| | | Click here to read!
+-----------+ '-------------------------------------------------------------------|
.-----------------------------------------------------------. +-----------+
| | |
Uh, What does running have to do with our sleep tutorial? > | StudentA |
| | |
'------------------------------------------------------------ +-----------+
+-----------+ .-------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Dr. | |
| Blatant | < Hey, Don't rush me!
| Nonsense | |
+-----------+ '-------------------------------------------------------------------|
Step 2: Master Physics
| ________________________________ BLACKBOARD ____________________________
| |
| | ************************************************************************
| | * *
| | * -------------------------------------------------------------- *
| | * | | * Dr: When you get to school,
| | * | English->Math->Art->PE->Chemistry... | * You will have classes.
| | * | | *
| | * -------------------------------------------------------------- *
| | * *
| | * *
| | ************************************************************************
| |__________________________________________________________________________
| ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______
| | desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk |
| |______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______| Dr: Guess which class is
| ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ our focus?
| | desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk |
| |______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______|
| ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______ ______
| | desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk || desk |
| |______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______||______|
|
| door
| _____
Dr: The Physics Class!
Dr: The teacher will definitely teach us lots of physical theories and effects there.
Dr: Pay extra attention when the teacher mentions----
************************************************************************
* *
* -------------------------------------------------------------- *
* | Today's Class: | *
* | Einstein's Dilation Effect. | *
* | | *
* -------------------------------------------------------------- *
* *
************************************************************************
.------------------------------------. +-----------+
| | |
And then? > | StudentA |
| | |
|------------------------------------- +-----------+
+-----------+ .-------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Dr. | |
| Blatant | < Hold on...there's just one final step!
| Nonsense | |
+-----------+ '-------------------------------------------------------------------|
Step 3: Practice Sleepwalk
()___
()//__/)_________________()
||(___)//#/_/#/_/#/_/#()/|| Dr: We all sleep everyday right?
||----|#| |#|_|#|_|#|_|| || Dr: Simple! You just need to practice how to "sleepwalk"!
||____|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|#||/|| Dr: Then while sleepwalking...
|| |#|_|#|_|#|_|#|_||
o
..... /|\ walk.....
/ \
o
.................. /|\
/ \
O
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。/|\ jog.....
/ \
O
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ /|\
/ \
O
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------------------------~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~--------~~~~~~~~ /|\ run.....!!!!!
/ \
Now for our exciting moments!
Combining the three steps above,
We know--thanks to the Dilation Effect--that if we can simultaneously reach **0.927c**,
(0.927 times the speed of light)
we can get EIGHT hours worth of sleep (time) inside THREE hours!!!
()___
()//__/)_________________()
||(___)//#/_/#/_/#/_/#()/||
||----|#| |#|_|#|_|#|_|| ||
||____|_|#|_|#|_|#|_|#||/||
|| |#|_|#|_|#|_|#|_||
\
\
\
\
\
\
\
\Sleeprunning.....
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/\ /\
||______||
|| ^ ^ ||
\| | | |/
|______|
__ | __ |
/ \ ________________________|_/ \_|__
/ ^^ \ /=========================/ ^^ \===| Run out of your home...
/ [] \ /=========================/ [] \==|
/________\ /=========================/________\=|
* | |/==========================| |=|
*** | ^^ ^^ |---------------------------| ^^ ^^ |--
*****| [] [] | _____ | [] [] | |
******* | /_____\ | * | |
*********^^ ^^ | ^^ ^^ | | | ^^ ^^ | ***| |
***********] [] | [] [] | | | [] [] | ===***** |
************* | @|__|__|@ |/ |*******|
*************** ***********--=====--**********| *********
***************___*********** |=====| **********|***********
************* ********* /=======\ ******** | *********
\
\
\
\
\
\
\
\Sleeprunning.....
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
_
__ ___ ( )
|""| ___ _ __ |"""| __ `
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| _._ _
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| (__((_
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| \'-:--:-.
"'''"''"'""'"""''"''''"""'""'""'~~~~~~'-----'~~~~
_
__ ___ ( )
|""| ___ _ __ |"""| __ `
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| _._ _ Run out of the city...
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| (__((_(
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| \'-:--:-.
"'''"''"'""'"""''"''''"""'""'""'~~~~~~'-----'~~~~
_
__ ___ ( )
|""| ___ _ __ |"""| __ `
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| _._ _
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| (__((_(
|""| |"""| |"| |""| |"""| |""| \'-:--:-.
"'''"''"'""'"""''"''''"""'""'""'~~~~~~'-----'~~~~
\
\
\
\
\
\
\
\Sleeprunning.....
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
/
~+
* +
' |
() .-.,="``"=. - o -
'=/_ \ | Run into the universe...
* | '=._ |
\ `=./`, '
. '=.__.=' `=' *
+ +
O * ' . ~+
You make it!!! * +
' |
() .-.,="``"=. - o -
/ / '=/_ \ |
O -- sleeping... * | '=._ |
\ \ \ `=./`, '
. '=.__.=' `=' *
+ +
O * ' .
.-----------------------------------------. +-----------+
| | |
But what if we can't run at that speed? > | StudentA |
| | |
|------------------------------------------ +-----------+
+-----------+ .-------------------------------------------------------------------.
| Dr. | | Oh boy, don't worry!
| Blatant | < Find an object that can move at 0.927c and then just sleep on it!
| Nonsense | | Saves you step 3 too! Isn't it simple?
+-----------+ '-------------------------------------------------------------------|
I think:
A. Maybe I should listen to the other method...
B. I can't take it--go punch him!
C. Emmm...That makes sense...?